We spend years learning how to perform when it matters. The surgeon operates. The lawyer argues the case. The executive runs the room. The musician walks onstage.
That part of us is real. It just isn’t the whole person.
I speak about what happens before and after the performance—and what we carry while everyone else sees competence.
I’m an implant dentist, practice owner, educator, and organizational leader. I happen to be a dentist. The questions aren’t dental questions.
The details are mine. The struggle is ours.
My brother David was murdered in 2019.
In the years that followed, COVID happened, my best friend unexpectedly passed away, my wife faced cancer, and I underwent emergency open-heart surgery.
I kept working. Practicing. Teaching. Leading. Running a business. Being a husband and raising three kids.
From the outside, much of the résumé still worked.
In 2023, I first tried to make sense of some of that publicly.
Yes, that is really the title. No, you do not need to care about dental implants.
I thought I understood resilience then. I understood some of it. I also thought I was further along than I was.
I no longer think resilience is a finish line. Sometimes the floor drops. Sometimes we lose connection to ourselves, to other people, to the world around us, or to something greater.
Sometimes we see it. Sometimes somebody else sees it first.
I have not solved trauma. I do not know what somebody else’s suffering is supposed to mean. I can tell my story truthfully, tell you how I understand it today, and ask some questions worth asking.
A keynote about what happens when the professional story and the human story stop lining up.
Ten days after David was murdered, I went back to work and placed a dental implant. For about an hour, I had to be completely present.
The implant did not cure my grief. Dentistry did not save me. But for that hour, grief did not occupy every inch of my brain.
Murder, Resilience, and Dental Implants became a story about grief, mental health, identity, resilience, connection, and what happens when there is no going back to the person you were before something happened.
Dentistry is where part of the story happened. It is not what the story is about.
Mental health. Identity. Hidden distress. Burnout. Compassion fatigue. Professional success. What people carry privately.
What is happening to the person carrying all of that performance?
“Our people are our greatest asset” means very little when everyone is burned out. “My door is always open” means very little if nobody brings you bad news.
Can somebody say “I disagree,” “I screwed up,” or “I need help”—and remain connected afterward?
Pain does not automatically produce growth. Trauma does not arrive with meaning attached. Scar tissue is real.
Not finding the way back. Finding a better way forward.
I am drawn to the conversations people avoid because they are too uncomfortable, personal, emotional, messy, or difficult to package.
And no, I’m not bringing a sound bath, aromatherapy, or healing crystals.
Nothing against quartz. I just don’t think it belongs in the treatment plan.
There is a full CV if you really want it. You can absolutely have it. I would just like to apologize in advance. It may have been assembled during a particularly enthusiastic episode of imposter syndrome and heightened insecurity.
Am I a good husband and dad?
Can I lead well—and follow well?
Can somebody tell me I’m wrong?
What kind of wake do I leave behind?
There is no board certification for character. I’m still working on mine.
Grief · family · mental health · humor · asking for help · connection
A personal conversation about David, grief, what people say to someone who is hurting, and what it means to remain connected after someone dies.
Listen →Trust · fear · communication · responsibility
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Large room. Small room. Stage. Podcast. Interview. Media.
Smart audiences. Difficult questions. Taboo topics. And conversations that are allowed to remain a little unresolved.
I do not need everybody to agree with me.
If something here feels relevant to your organization, meeting, podcast, audience, or room, tell me what you are thinking.
Keynotes · Podcasts · Media
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